Sometimes, the writing business is hard.  But when difficulty and despair creep in, I remember the fans, or more accurately, the fan who calls out for July’s edition of the MESPY (Matt’s Excellence in Self-Promotion Yada Yada) Awards.  Sniff.  That’s what makes it all worth while.

AL MVP:  Mike Trout.  Somewhere, Tim Salmon is crying, realizing the gig is up as the top fish to ever play for the Angels.  Trout put up a monster July, hitting .392 with 10 home runs, 32 runs scored (32!), 23 RBIs, and 9 stolen bases, just because he can.  His 2.8 WAR (Wins Above Replacement) was 33 percent better than the next highest in July, Ryan Zimmerman’s 2.1 WAR.

AL CY Young:  David Price.  WAR will tell you that Felix Hernandez had the edge, but that was due in large part to King Felix having one additional start.  Take that away, and the Price was Right snitches!

AL Rookie of the Month:  Trout.  I knew fish was brain food but I didn’t realize it made thinking this easy.

NL MVP:  Ryan Zimmerman.  Andrew McCutchen must be starting to feel like the Susan Lucci of the MESPY awards at this point, but Zimm edged the Dread Pirate in home runs, runs, and RBIs.  Also, McCutchen’s surprising total of zero stolen bases and Zimm’s edge in defensive metrics pushed Ryan over the top in WAR, 2.1 to 2.0.

NL CY Young:  Jordan Zimmermann.  After the July JZ had, I can’t help but wonder if the other Jaz-Z wrote A Star is Born about Zimm:

And I am one, of one

Can’t you see just how long my run?

NL Rookie of the Month:  It would be a real dogfight between Michael Fiers of the Brewers and Anthony Rizzo of the Cubs (both 1.0 WAR), if it weren’t for Rizzo accumulating 153 at-bats last season with the Padres.  According to those fun-busters at MLB, that’s 23 too many to be considered a rookie.  Sigh.

Nationals’ MVP:  Ryan Zimmerman.  I guess I was talking about Zimm’s monster July around the office so much I shouldn’t have been surprised when I overheard management discussing whether cortisone shots would increase audit productivity.

Nationals’ CY Young:  Jordan Zimmermann.  Six starts.  Six quality starts, with four wins banked.  All he does is throw darts, though his xFIP (3.12) in July does leave some room for an upward ERA correction (.97 ERA in July).

Nationals’ Rookie of the Month:  Steve Lombardozzi.  No Nats rookie really shined in July, with Lombardozzi pacing all rookies with a 0.3 WAR.  But with Ian Desmond going down, Lombard has swung a nice bat and picked it on a pretty consistent basis.  I can think of far worse things.  Like being the sap donning the Teddy Roosevelt costume everyday, running around in a thousand-degree heat, never winning the Presidents race.  Yeah, that would make me hot and bitter.  Hot and bitter.

And that’s all folks!